Elvis
Impersonator
|
Tone-deaf
overweight and not very talented
|
Stuttering
traffic cop
|
Sends people
on the wrong route because his stuttering misleads them about
the road they are supposed to take. They take the A 333 instead
of the A3. |
Baker
|
"Picks
his nose. Has disgusting unhygienic habits. Uses his false teeth
to put the edge pattern on a pie." |
| News
reporter |
Has an
amazing ability to be in the right place at the right time but
misses the story through being distracted by a minor event. |
| Ruffian |
A child
who can't say the letter k which he substitutes with a p |
| Slovenly
waitress |
She has
no self-pride hates her job and dislikes people. |
| Smelly
professor |
He is so
engrossed in the classics that he scarcely notices the here
and now. He never has time to shower. His students makes jokes
about him. |
| Hobo |
Black-bearded
down-and-out who sleeps rough in shop doorways. |
| Bus
driver |
He wanted
to be an airline pilot but failed to make the grade. Now he
tries to compensate with the way he drives his bus. |
| Seer |
An old
woman who sits in her wheelchair looking into the future. |
| Autistic
child |
Able to
read by ""feeling the words"" written on
the printed page. |
| Village
butcher |
To the
alarm of his regular customers he is obsessed with cannibalism.
When not serving customers he reads books about cannibals in
the jungles of Asia as well as more recent serial killers who
ate their prey. |
| Spotty
teenage violinist |
who droves
everyone around him crazy by non-stop whistling of themes from
classical music. |
| A
7' 2"" gangly youth. |
A beanpole
with a squeaky voice. |
| Logorrhoeac
|
Just can't
stop talking - commentating on every aspect of daily life as
if covering it for a sports channel. |
Serially
unemployed
layabout |
This non-worker
is convinced that his life is really just a part in a movie
and that people around him are all paid actors. He thus has
no qualms about parasiting on them for food drink shelter and
transport. |
| Queen
of Hearts |
She dresses
like the eponymous playing card. |
| Ugly
old spinster |
The children
mock her for her looks and pretend to be afraid of her so she
plays the part with a cat and a broomstick as props. |
| Chain-smoker
|
Through
constant hawking he has learnt the art of accurate long-distance
spitting. |
| Street
Poet |
He sprays
long lines of verse on urban walls as intellectual graffiti. |
| Foil
head |
He is terrified
the aliens are trying to control him with beams and so he wears
kitchen foil inside his hat. |
